================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES All stunts performed by mood-altered idiots. Do not attempt. ================================================================== October 15, 2004 NOTE FROM KRISTIAN: Yes, Johnny Knoxville may finally achieve superstardom with a role in the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard, but we knew him waaaay back in MTV's Jackass... The Top 9 Things We'd See If Johnny Knoxville Ran the Presidential Debates 9. Renamed "The 2004 Presidential Candidate Buttock Wrestle" 8. Winner would be the person who produced the biggest flame from lighting his own gas. 7. Guy in Saddam mask kicks the candidates in the balls after every rebuttal. 6. Moderator is Wee Man the midget; 30-second warning given with air horns. 5. Questions may only be answered in belch-speak. 4. 12-volt batteries inside podiums hard-wired to candidates' testicles. 3. Nader crashes the debate, covered in Cheeze Whiz and ravenous rats. 2. Candidates have 2 minutes to give themselves as many papercuts as possible. and the Number 1 Thing We'd See If Johnny Knoxville Ran the Presidential Debates... 1. Same as any other debate, except it's held in a crocodile pit wearing raw meat diapers. [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== BIG HITS Naked Pictures of Famous People by Jon Stewart America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction by The Staff of The Daily Show ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 25 submissions from 7 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 1, 5, 9 (Three pic deal!) John English, Orem, UT -- 2 Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA -- 3 Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 4, 7 Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA -- 4 Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 6 Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO -- 8 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Registered and Decided ================================================================== [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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