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                         January 16, 2009                         


              The Top 9 Pet Peeves of a Stunt Double              


 9. Single pay for doubling both Olsen twins.

 8. Glass shards between teeth shred dental floss.

 7. Never get called in to do fiery love scenes, unless the bed
    is actually on fire.

 6. You think you're pretty buff and in good shape but they keep
    asking you to double for John Goodman.

 5. It's bad enough the flying rig is tight in the crotch, but
    Brandon Routh keeps whistling "The Nutcracker Suite."

 4. Shaving entire body Brazilian to double Damon.

 3. Hearing "Cut! Let's do it again!" when you're halfway between
    the balcony and the ground.

 2. No bragging rights when you double Andy Dick tripping down
    stairs.


    and the Number 1 Pet Peeve of a Stunt Double...


 1. When some joker replaces the giant airbag with Folgers
    Crystals.



              [   Copyright 2009 by Chris White   ]               
              [          www.topfive.com          ]               


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Selected from 37 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA           -- 1
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA        -- 2, 3
Brandon Hunt, Portsmouth, RI        -- 3
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 4
Donald Johnson, Cinncinatti, OH     -- 5, 6
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY -- 7
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA    -- 8, 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA          -- Malkovich Double

------------------------------------------------------------------
                   Pet Peeves of a Stunt Double                   
         RUNNERS UP list  --  Two, Two, Two Lists in One!         
------------------------------------------------------------------

That awkward moment when Miss Jolie asks for her breasts back.
          (Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY)

Gaffers who go overboard taping squibs near your private parts.
          (Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)

The amount of time you have to "ugly up" to play Mickey O'Rourke.
          (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)
          (Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)

Do it perfectly and everyone thinks Brad Pitt did it. Make one
tiny mistake and everyone on YouTube knows it's you.
          (Brandon Hunt, Portsmouth, RI)

If Larry the Cable Guy wants a double for when he falls face-first
in dog-poop, maybe he shouldn't do movies where he falls face
first in dog-poop.
          (John English, Orem, UT)

Sure, they'll jump out a window themselves, but when it comes time
to kiss Rosie O'Donnell, in you go!
          (Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)

Every time you do a flame gag, the leading man starts making
s'mores.
          (Donald Johnson, Cinncinatti, OH)

Just once, could they get a sheet with a higher threadcount on the
landing pad??
          (Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)

Still waiting for that call from Jackie Chan.
          (Kim Moser, New York, NY)

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