This archive is maintained by Kristian Idol at www.13idol.comGet a new Top 5 Movies list every Friday! Subscribe Page
==================================================================
TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES
This is not an offer to sell securities.
==================================================================
January 16, 2004
NEWS ITEM:
Movie ticket sales dropped 5% in 2003.
The Top 9 Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year
9. Who can leave the house with all of those quality new shows
on UPN??
8. Paris Hilton's movie went straight to video.
7. Scrambling to stay below the "Hey, I could buy the DVD for
that much" threshold.
6. Severe lack of Adam-Sandler-as-loveable-retard movies.
5. Let's see... pay eight bucks to see The Haunted Mansion and
feel sick and nauseous, or get a flu shot, which will prevent
me from feeling sick and nauseous?
4. Because, as a good American, I was in silent protest of the
exploitation of... aw, hell, I ate too many Big Macs and my
ass got wedged into my computer chair.
3. Huge Hobbit feet make men feel inferior.
2. People still washing their eyes out from the nude scenes in
About Schmidt.
and the Number 1 Reason Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year...
1. Everyone spent too much time getting to the bottom of that
pesky "chicken vs. tuna" mystery.
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
[ www.topfive.com ]
==================================================================
BIG HITS
Cinema: Year by Year, 1894-2003
Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Sales
==================================================================
==================================================================
Selected from 46 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 1, 4 (Yippee-kai-yay! 1st #1)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 2
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA -- 3
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX -- 5
Marko Peric, Charlottetown, PEI -- 6
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 7
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO -- 8
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD -- 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Always a Critic
------------------------------------------------------------------
Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year
RUNNERS UP list -- Just You Wait
------------------------------------------------------------------
Because the studios haven't figured out how to transfer Queer Eye
for the Straight Guy to the big screen yet.
(Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Avid Moviegoers
------------------------------------------------------------------
Bin Laden hasn't been to a theater in ages.
(Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA)
Still looking for the real killers (OJ Simpson only).
(Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year
HONORABLE MENTION, THE SEQUEL list -- Suck/Up
------------------------------------------------------------------
Folks found the Top5 Movie List much funnier than the actual
films.
(Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)
==================================================================
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ]
[ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ]
[ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ]
==================================================================
This archive is maintained by Kristian Idol at www.13idol.com
Get a new Top 5 Movies list every Friday! Subscribe Page
15,000 movie and TV scripts!