================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES EYES ONLY ================================================================== July 16, 2010 NOTE FROM KRISTIAN: The Production Assistant, or PA, is essentially a "go-fer", responding to whatever demands for miscellaneous props, labor, etc. the filmmakers have. The Top 9 Signs the PA May Be a Spy 9. Even though a huge boom mike is hanging over you, wants you to speak into the sprinkles on the donut. 8. All the on-set trailers have been replaced with featureless vans. 7. Unplanned explosion sequences keep interrupting the wedding scene. 6. Shreds the budget and keeps blacking out sections of the script that are "classified". (No wait, that's signs he works for the studio.) 5. Knows 27 ways to kill you with a coffee stirrer. 4. You have to go to the third stall and look behind the toilet to find the script revisions. 3. It's a single-location film with unknown actors but the budget is $200 million and the king of the country just died of "the flu." 2. When the director of the haunted-house movie asks for more spooks, twenty nondescript guys in black suits and sunglasses show up. and the Number 1 Sign the PA May Be a Spy... 1. Critic who wrote negative review of advance screening killed in a mysterious one-car accident. [ Copyright 2010 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 19 submissions from 6 contributors. This week's list authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA -- 1, 2, 7 (Three pic deal!) Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH -- 2, 4, 8 (Three pic deal!) John English, Orem, UT -- 3 William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 5, 6, 9 (Three pic deal!) Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA -- 6 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Covert Operative ------------------------------------------------------------------ Signs the PA May Be a Spy RUNNERS UP list -- Plausible Laughability ------------------------------------------------------------------ One day, Megan Fox is just "gone", quietly replaced with unheard-of lead actress. (John English, Orem, UT) (Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA) His Hyundai Excel has a oil slick, smoke screen, and ejection seat. (William C. Martell, Studio City, CA) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2010 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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