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             TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  MOVIES              
                      Revised 5th Goldenrod                       
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                        September 3, 2010                         


      The Top 9 Signs You're Being Stalked by a Screenwriter      


 9. You find a dozen discarded Starbucks cups in a doorway down
    the street.

 8. She's polite, intelligent and dressed for comfort. In Los
    Angeles. What else could she possibly be?

 7. Heavy-breathing phone calls saying, "I feel the need... to
    read."

 6. Each week, someone different is following you with a new
    "take" on your undying love.

 5. Mash notes come in 9"x12" manilla envelopes marked "REQUESTED
    MATERIAL."

 4. Every tenth day there's a smarmy, fast-talking guy in a suit
    with a Blackberry watching you instead.

 3. On vacation at the Grand Canyon, your echo comes back puched
    up and 53% funnier.

 2. The ransom note for your rabbit begins: "FADE IN - NIGHT.
    A man's blood-stained shoes walk briskly down a dark alley..."


                and the Number 1 Sign You're Being                
                   Stalked by a Screenwriter...                   


 1. Telling him that cutting off your limbs and putting you in a
    box would be derivative of Boxing Helena actually makes him
    put down the axe and rethink his whole strategy.



              [   Copyright 2010 by Chris White   ]               
              [          www.topfive.com          ]               


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Selected from 21 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
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John English, Orem, UT              -- 1, 2, 8 (Three pic deal!)
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH      -- 2, 4
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA           -- 2
Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA       -- 2
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 3, 6, 9 (Three pic deal!)
Judith Cotrill, Bronx, NY           -- 5, 7
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA       -- 5
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA          -- Script Doctor

------------------------------------------------------------------
           Signs You're Being Stalked by a Screenwriter           
           RUNNERS UP list  --  Tighten This Section Up           
------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever you change your daily routine you hear a voice crying
from the bushes: "Don't deviate from the script!"
          (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH)
          (Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)

You've seen yourself in the mirror, so the so guy lingering
outside your door is clearly not a papparazzo.
          (Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA)

Previous stalker: sound of a camera shutter clicking outside your
window. New stalker: sound of a keyboard clacking outside your
window.
          (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH)

It doesn't matter, as long as you're not being stalked by an
Internet humor list contributor.
          (Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)

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[      Copyright 2010 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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