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         TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  SHOWBIZ INSIDER
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                          March 16, 2001


                       NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

        You know, you'd think the life of a sexy young
          singer would be all fame, fortune and fun.
                       And you'd be right.

               It's the support jobs that suck... 



   The Top 7 Worst Things About Being Britney Spears' Roadie


 6. Keeping the stage clear of 40 year-old male "band aids".

 5. Every time her manager shows up to renew the contract, he
    gets sulfur and brimstone all over the amps.

 4. Having to maintain nothing but eye contact 24/7.

 3. Sustained exposure to fans' high-pitched squealing has
    rendered you sterile.

 2. Tiny outfits keep getting lost in dressing room couch.


               and the Number 1 Worst Thing About
                  Being Britney Spears' Roadie...


 1. The last time her elastic gave out, Ed lost an eye.



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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                        LISTEN UP, PEOPLE!

            Britney Spears - "Oops!... I Did It Again"


                        NOT Britney Spears:

              Our Lady Peace - "Spiritual Machines"
                          (rock and roll)

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Selected from 22 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Jennifer A. Ford, Web Designer   -- 1
Wade Kwon, Civilian              -- 2, 3
Reid Kerr, Radio Talk Show Host  -- 4
Eric Lipton, Civilian            -- 5
Michael Sheinbaum, Civilian      -- 5
William C. Martell, Screenwriter -- 6
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director   -- Moderator

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          Worst Things About Being Britney Spears' Roadie
              RUNNERS UP list  --  Need Augmentation
------------------------------------------------------------------

Throwing out all of the old bustiers after "growth spurts".
      (William C. Martell)

If she's gotta bare her navel, so does *everybody else*.
      (Wade Kwon)

Staying on your feet while mopping up the silicone spills.
      (Kris Johnson)

Those slacker N'Sync roadies don't take the craft seriously.
      (Eric Lipton)

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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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