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             TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  MOVIES              
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                          June 20, 2008                           

                       NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:                        

                 Twice in the past year, hospital                 
               employees have been caught browsing                
              through celebrities' medical records.               


   The Top 9 Entries Discovered in Celebrities' Hospital Files    


 9. Paris Hilton -- In 2004, neurosurgeons removed last bit of
    brain lodged in her skull.

 8. John Holmes -- Had his hands enlarged.

 7. Jay Leno's hair? Skunk fur.

 6. Michael Douglas -- Romancing Stones.

 5. Amy Winehouse -- [ PLEASE LOAD A FULL REAM OF PAPER AND HIT
    ENTER TO CONTINUE PRINTING THIS PATIENT'S MEDICAL RECORDS ]

 4. Scarlett Johansson -- Necro-schmendritis, the unexplained
    attraction to dirty old New York Jews. Previous victims have
    included Mariel Hemingway, Charlize Theron and Soon Yi.

 3. Snoop Dogg -- Clean as a whistle.

 2. Sean Connery -- In order to get a proper blood pressure
    reading, hospital personnel are forbidden to use the words
    "extraordinary" and "gentlemen" anywhere near each other.


                and the Number 1 Entry Discovered                
                 in a Celebrity's Hospital File...                 


 1. Robert Downey, Jr. -- Treated for panic attack when he failed
    to recognize what being sober felt like.



              [   Copyright 2008 by Chris White   ]               
              [          www.topfive.com          ]               


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Selected from 33 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
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Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA        -- 1
Patrick Storck, Baltimore, MD    -- 2, 6
John English, Orem, UT           -- 3, 4, 7 (Three picture deal!)
Kim Moser, New York, NY          -- 5
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 8
Donald Johnson, Cincinatti, OH   -- 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- List Doctor

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