================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES Timelocked list - clerk cannot open. ================================================================== January 9, 2009 The Top 8 Scandals We Predict for 2009 8. Jonas Brothers/Cloris Leachman sex tape. 7. Angelina Jolie's attempts to adopt Malia and Sasha Obama fail. 6. After Tom Cruise forces Katie Holmes to endure another silent birth, Katie relieves Tom of his spleen. 5. Through a clerical error, Woody Allen's AFI Lifetime Achievement Award is given to Lloyd Kaufman of Troma. 4. Marisa Tomei hooks up with Studio City screenwriter. [Ed. Note: Well, *I* think she's going to hook up with a *Burbank* screenwriter, Bill!] 3. Yogi Berra caught leaving Madonna's apartment in early a.m. She denies anything improper. Then she converts to Buddhism, marries Ang Lee and all of his movies suck after that. 2. Seth Rogen is revealed to be an extremely sophisticated Muppet. and the Number 1 Scandal We Predict for 2009... 1. Walt Disney was actually thawed out years ago. He now goes by the name "John Lasseter". [ Copyright 2009 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 31 submissions from 8 contributors. This week's list authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY -- 1 Donald Johnson, Cinncinatti, OH -- 2 John English, Orem, UT -- 3 Judith Cotrill, Bronx, NY -- 3, 7 William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 4, 8 Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 5 Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 6 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Not Actually 5'10"!! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Scandals We Predict for 2009 RUNNERS UP list -- Can't We All Just Get Along? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Sci-fi fans reject the new Star Trek movie en masse after the Kirk-Spock kissing scene is leaked online. (John English, Orem, UT) Actors go on strike, but will have stand-ins picket when the weather is bad. (Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY) Jennifer Aniston hires a big game hunter to take out Angelina Jolie while she's shopping for more kids in Africa. (Donald Johnson, Cinncinatti, OH) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2009 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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