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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES
                The Best Humor List of the Year!!!
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                           June 7, 2001

                          NOTE FROM ERIC:

            Columbia Pictures and parent company Sony 
             have been apologizing all week after it 
           was revealed that film critic David Manning 
          -- who always had glowing things to say about 
        Columbia's movies -- doesn't even exist, and was 
        merely an invention of their marketing department.


              The Top 9 Signs a Movie Review Is Fake


 9. The review of Pink Flamingos reads: "Divine is as full of 
    crap as I am!" 

 8. The phrase "Move over, Gone With The Wind!" seems a little
    overblown for a Revenge of the Nerds sequel.

 7. The use of brackets ("A [stunning, touching, and heartfelt]
    movie [for the ages]") appears a bit labored.

 6. When asked to review a low budget, independent film, he spits 
    out pages and pages of error messages before blowing up.

 5. The review for Malcolm X hailing it as "better than any of 
    the first nine!" seems a little odd. 

 4. "Perhaps the biggest treat in this delicious feast of a movie
    is its spectacular marketing campaign, spearheaded by ad copy 
    writer Ed Schwartz..." 

 3. Describes Freddie Got Fingered as "Shakespeare's greatest 
    work EVER!!!"

 2. Little drops of silicone drip out from the sides of the review.


    and the Number 1 Sign a Movie Review Is Fake...


 1. You're pretty sure no one uses the notation: "Two Tongues Up!"



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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Selected from 43 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA            -- 1
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA           -- 2, 3
Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA       -- 4, 8
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ           -- 5
Jennifer A. Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN       -- 6
Zachary Brewster-Geisz, Greenbelt, MD -- 7
Buce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA    -- 9
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC        -- Script Doctor

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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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