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         TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  SHOWBIZ INSIDER
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                            June 8, 2001  

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

                No, you can't look Sly in the eyes.
                Yes, Demi washes her hair in Evian.

             Why do you think they call them "talent"?


        The Top 9 Signs Your Talent Is Too High-Maintenance


 9. Re-negotiates contract after every scene.

 8. Dennis Quaid isn't good enough for her! Russell Crowe isn't
    good enough for her!

 7. His character is completely rewritten so that he can wear
    his lucky jacket.*

 6. You need weekly surgery to extract your lips from his butt.

 5. Insists that you explain her "motivation" to play
    Dead Body #3.

 4. Bail bondsman gets a head credit.

 3. His hairpiece has its own trailer.

 2. Demands a golf cart to take her to her limo.


    and the Number 1 Sign Your Talent is Too High-Maintenance...


 1. Fires more assistants before getting out of bed than
    you do all day.



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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                             BIG HITS

                 Adventures in the Screen Trade
    by William Goldman ("Butch Cassidy", "Misery", many more)

                     Your Film Acting Career:
                 How to Break Into Movies and TV

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Selected from 21 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Wade Kwon, Civilian              -- 1, 2, 9
William C. Martell, Screenwriter -- 3, 4, 6, 7 (Blockbuster!)
Jeff Wilson, Software Engineer   -- 5
Jennifer Ford, Web Designer      -- 8
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director   -- Moderator
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*Item #7 has the distinction of being completely true.

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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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