Ways the Industry Would Be Different If Actors Were Cattle

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                           March 9, 2001

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

        Acclaimed director Alfred Hitchcock once supposedly
          remarked, "Actors should be treated as cattle."

                   So, naturally, we pondered...


              The Top 9 Ways the Industry Would Be
                 Different If Actors Were Cattle


 9. Craft services provided by Lawn Doctor.

 8. Pamela Anderson plays the flat-chested, intelligent one.

 7. Shower scene in newest Psycho remake has Norman Bates 
    sporting leather chaps and swinging a branding iron.

 6. Oscar acceptance speeches really would all sound alike.

 5. Mad cow disease? Only when the PA forgets the skim lattes.

 4. A plate of grass in LA would run upwards of $40.

 3. Robert Downey, Jr. gets wasted on Bovine Growth Hormone and
    "tips" himself.

 2. Instead of being turned into Soylent Green, Charlton Heston
    would have been turned into a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.


            and the Number 1 Way the Industry Would Be
                Different If Actors Were Cattle...


 1. In India, even Steven Segal would be sacred.



              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Beth Kujawski, Voice Talent -- 1, 2, 6 (Rookie hat trick! 1st #1)
Eric Lipton, Civilian       -- 1, 5 (1st #1)
Jeff Wilson, Software Drone -- 3, 7
Kris Johnson, Boom Operator -- 3, 8
Davejames, Wage Earner      -- 4
Jeff Scherer, Art Director  -- 9
Kristian Idol, Screenwriter -- List-poke

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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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